A little secret: I stopped watching Once Upon a Time. So I don’t know whether they’ve continued the Honey Crisp/Red Delicious screw up. What I do know is I’m still getting Google hits every Monday morning for some variation of “once upon a time honeycrisp apple.” What I also know is that apples have shown up on another genre television show, a show that’s been frustrating the hell out of me, even as I give it more chances than I think it really deserves.
This time it had nothing to do with the variety of apples used, but rather an apple blight and a CGI beetle that loves eating apple blight. It was tangential to the primary plot of the show, but worked something like this. Step one: blighted trees, ruined crop. Step two: release beetles. Step three: beautiful trees, bounteous crop. All in the course of less than a week.
Blight really doesn’t work that way. It destroy entire yields of crops, it kills trees. No amount of magic CGI beetle is going to surgically remove just the infected bits of an apple and leave beautiful fruit behind for everyone to enjoy and bake into pies to feed to young children who never got to have an apple pie back home because the future was just that miserable! Deep breath. This seems like such a little nit to pick, but it leads up to my new rule for genre television:
Judge shows by their use of apples.
Let’s break it down, shall we?
Once Upon a Time: Couldn’t be bothered to properly source the right kinds of apples for scenes. Terra Nova: misunderstands just how devastating a blight is to a crop and paints it as a reversible thing. American Horror Story: when Zachery Quinto is raging out about gala apples, by god, they’re gala effing apples.
And which of those three shows is the strongest? Easily American Horror Story.
So now I’m going to be on the lookout for apples in other genre shows, just to see if the pattern holds up. And it does make sense as a pattern, because this really has nothing to do with apples and everything to do with just paying attention to the little details. Because those are often just as important as the big ones.