I used to have a certain threshold for fame, a moment when I would know I had Made It, and that I was officially a celebrity. It was an invitation to appear on Celebrity Jeopardy. If Jeopardy ever called, I would tell my agent, the answer is “yes” no matter what else I had to re-arrange to make it happen. Yes, these are the kinds of things that my mind thinks about, especially about 5-10 years ago when I was much more certain that, one day, people would Know Who I Am.

There are a few problems with this plan, however. First off, they do Celebrity Jeopardy like once a year, for just one week, so that’s 15 total slots each year. The second is that they tend to not have authors on the show, at least not people who are primarily authors. Since they started, Stephen King has done Celebrity Jeopardy twice, winning once (charity: Maine Public Libraries, a perfectly Stephen King charity to select). So that’s the level of fame you have to have. Stephen friggen King. There are MAYBE three authors in the world that have reached that level: King himself, Rowling, and maybe Dan Brown. I’d like to believe that they’ve asked other authors that have turned them down, but let’s face it…they’re authors. Most authors, I’m discovering, are attention starved and desperate for as much face time as they can get. What better place than Jeopardy.

Hell. The Simpsons has had more authors on than Celebrity Jeopardy.

However, I’ve discovered something else lately: National Public Radio. More specifically “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me…” Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I’m rather late to the game, as I realize this show has been on the airwaves for just over a decade. If you don’t know the show, get to know it. There’s a feature called Not My Job where they bring on a celebrity to answer questions about things they should know nothing about. This is what I’m now all about. While the celebrities have been on the level of Tom Hanks, they also commonly have various senators and representatives, and even the occasional author or blogger. It seems the level of fame is more on the level of notoriety than celebrityhood. Perfect!

Now, it’s going to take me some years, I’m sure. But be sure to know, if you ever find me on the airwaves, know that I’m thrilled and know I’ve made it.